Ethereal

~Charlotte~

I studied Ashan for a moment, his face was impossible to read. Had he heard what Marcie said? I didn't have time to analyze it further. Tennin held a finger to his lips, indicating that we should be quite. Marcie and I got up attempting to mirror Fear's stealth but I stumbled slightly, slipping on the slick earth. Apparently my new found agility had deserted me.

Marcie reached out a hand and steadied me and we made it out of the tent and into the soft storm of constantly falling leaves. I caught Ashan's eye and motioned to the dagger, raising a questioning eyebrow. He smiled and pointed a little farther along. There was Grebon, his finger to his lips, grinning like the mad man he was. We went to him, Fear trailing softly behind, and stopped looking around for the best rout of escape.

I laughed inwardly. Escape. That was something we seemed to be doing a lot of lately. I felt something brush my leg and I looked down to see Fear padding swiftly past us. He got a little ways and then looked back expectantly. Marcie looked at me In a silent question. I shrugged and followed Fear. For some reason I felt I could trust his instinct.

Fear led us along, navigating sentries and sleeping guards. I'm not sure how he knew where exactly to go, but then again, I wasn't exactly sure how he came to be either. My mind roamed back to his creation. It was a funny thing-- to lack fear. In a way, it was freeing, but when the fear was gone, you were left with uncertainty. Which was almost worse. I didn't fear my future anymore, I just had no concept of what was to come. And with the fear gone I only had the uncertainty to focus on.

I tried to put it out of my mind as I watched my new kitten.  The confident feline didn't stop until we were well into the trees and out of earshot of the camp.

"I give us an eight hour head start." Tennin said, "Maybe less."

"eight hours, eight hours" Marcie and I looked at each other.

"Did you-?" She nodded

"Did she what?" asked Ashan looking at me oddly

"Nothing" If he didn't hear Mushroom, there was no need for us to explain.

"So where do we go next?" Marcie asked, voicing the question that was all present in our minds.

"We should head back to Sub-Terra. The Order will want to see you." Tennin was looking at me, and I saw a glimpse of his old soldier self.  After everything he'd been though, I was astonished that he still had so much loyalty towards the Order.

"What about the Tomb?" I asked. We all looked to Grebon

He stared back at us, eyes wide, as though our presence was slightly surprising to him.

"You follow Grebon, he knows the way." The old man cackled softly.

"Is it just me, or has Grebon become crazier since we met him?" I murmured softly to Marcie

"I think my blast did something to him." She whispered back "But, he was never very stable to begin with"

"Hey!" I looked up to see Grebon a good forty feet ahead of us. "Where do you think your off to?"

"Follow me! Grebon knows!"

Tennin sighed. "Yes, lets follow the crazy man blindly to an unknown location. Fantastic Idea."

I laughed and took his hand.

"Come on," I said "At least he's sure of himself" Tennin sighed again, but let me lead him along.

He was right though. We were following someone, obviously mentally unstable, into the unknown, without weapons or food. Probably not the best decision. A feeling began to creep into my subconscious. Fear. Apparently the feeling could regenerate. I shook my head to clear it, this was not the time, or the place for fear.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Eventually Grebon stopped. We were in a clearing of sorts, and a dark sludge like stream bubbled close by.

"Is this it?" Ashan asked

Grebon shook his head. "Not yet silly prince. Make camp." He said and then promptly sat down, offering no assistance.  Fear  stalked over to join him, rubbing his head against the old man's leg. Grebon grinned widely and ran his wrinkled hands through Fear's dark fur.

"Nice Kitty" he murmured. I felt a smile come to my lips at the odd pair.

"Can you build a fire?" Tennin asked me. I shook my head.

"I can!" Marcie said. "Come on," she pulled at my arm "I'll show you."

I followed her to the middle of the clearing where Ashan and Tennin had already begun to pile up fire wood. Marcie searched around for a minute, then found a smaller stick and began to spin it between her hands on top of a larger log.

"Do you actually know what your doing?" I asked her skeptically. She shrugged.

"Not really, I saw it in a movie once" I laughed at my incorigable friend, suddenly very glad that she was with me. I could never go through this adventure alone.

"Well good luck with that." I said, still smiling. Out of the corner of my eye I saw an impossibly black shape flit by on his way to pester Tennin. "Hey, what do you think Fear is?" I asked, keeping my eyes on her attempt at fire.

"Dunno." she said. There was a snap as the smaller stick broke. Marcie picked up another one and continued spinning it without missing a beat. "I'm still not sure what I did. I could see your fear in your aura, and I just touched your shoulder, and I don't know, kinda, willed it to come to me. I didn't expect it to actually be able to live. But I'm glad he's here" she said absentmindedly watching as Fear stalked Tennin. Tennin kept moving away from him. He wasn't too fond of cats.

Marcie shifted so that she was looking at me. "Hey so, I've been thinking... we need to figure out how we could possibly get back." I stared at her blankly.

"Home." she said her eyes concerned

"Oh." I was quiet a moment. In all the excitement I had put thoughts of home out of my mind. "Now?" I asked looking at her.

"Well, yeah." she said. "We are going to have to get back at some point. I was thinking we could talk to Haiga, I think she'll probably know something about it. And..." Marcie continued talking, but I wasn't listening. Home. How odd a thought. I had no idea how to get back. And to make things worse, I knew there was a small part of me that was asking the question.


 Did I want go home?


I closed my eyes and squashed the question. There was only one thing I was sure of-- I couldn't, I wouldn't  leave until I had fixed Sub-Terra. Or at least given it my best shot.

"Charlotte?" Marcie's voice came through to me. "Charlotte are you listening?"

"Huh? Yeah." I smiled "I think I'm going to go rescue Tennin from Fear" I got up and walked towards my playful kitten. I wasn't ready to talk about home. Not yet.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I'm still not sure how she did it, but eventually Marcie got a fire going. We all sat around it, eating unfamiliar  roots that Ashan had found. He had assured us they were safe, but I was still a little skeptical. Tennin had found a shell that used to belong to a fresh water calex, what ever that was, and we had successfully gathered some water from the stream. If you just skimmed the top of it, you missed most of the sludge and I insisted we boil it to get rid of any unwanted bacteria.

It wasn't exactly gourmet, but it was food all the same and I was grateful for it. After we'd eaten, Ashan and Tennin began to unsuccessfully question Grebon about our destination. He refused to give any information claiming that it was "Too sensitive for silly princes, and dense soldiers." I wandered away from the fire, and sat down a few yards away. Fear followed me, and he mewed softly as I picked him up. I stared into his obsidian eyes, and sighed, the weight of the past two days crashing down on me. I realized vaguely that we hadn't slept in two days. Unless you counted being unconscious and I didn't.

I held Fear close as memories of my near death experience on the roof began to plague my mind. I pushed the experience away, not wanting to dwell on it. However, I could not control my thoughts going to the birds we had faced and I felt tears start to form in my eyes. I had never been big on crying but ever since I got here, it seemed it had been coming up more often- and I didn't like it. With my back to the group, I allowed the unfamiliar water to slide down my face silently. What had happened today? That sword had felt so comfortable in my hands. It had been as though all at once I uncovered a skill I never knew I had. When Marcie had taken away my fear, I lost all the doubt I had, had in myself, and fighting just became natural.

But, looking back on it, it had been horrifying as well. Those birds... I had massacred them. I buried my face into Fear.

"Are you alright?" I felt a strong hand on my shoulder, and I looked up to see Tennin's silhouette looking down at me. I nodded, wiping my tears swiftly away, embarrassed.

"You don't have to lie." he said sitting down next to me.

"I'm not a killer" I whispered.

"What do you mean?"

"Those birds today... I didn't even give them a chance."

Tennin laughed. "Is that what your worried about?" he asked, wrapping protective arms around me. Fear struggled against the embrace and jumped out of my arms, striding back to the fire.

"Look," he said, looking at me steadily. "Just because you killed the Birds, doesn't make you a killer. It makes you a survivor" I raised my head to meet his gaze and he continued. "Those birds would have killed you without a second of hesitation. It was us or them, and you chose us."

"But," I leaned against him "They were just acting on instinct. It wasn't their fault we were in their territory."

He laughed again "What?" I asked

"I have never seen anyone have such remorse in killing savage creatures. Especially ones that were trying to kill them. Its.... Interesting."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked breaking free from his arms and looking at him, challenge in my eyes.

"Nothing." he said smiling.

And then he kissed me.


I felt all my distress, and confusion and uncertainty leave me for a moment. It drifted in the breeze, melting and blending into the cold darkness of constant night.